june 24, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…being able to get up early and go on my pre-dawn walk with buggs. it was still warm, but not as hot as it is now. there was a beautiful sunrise, but i couldn’t take a photo…

…three cups of black coffee and some quiet time for myself and buggs outdoors, until everyone else woke up…

…time to really think about what i’m writing and how i should write it…how to cut it down and still have it be me. time to actually finish part of it…

…time to work on my street art and grafitti photobook. i’m on page twenty-three or eighty-five…

…being alone in my room with buggs. no r*****d. no yelling. no arguing. no fox news. getting to listen to my music and work…

…a new to me chair for my desk. j***y got a new one, so she gave me her old one. it feels so much better on my butt and back, than that hard wooden kitchen chair…

…ice tea with lemon…

i am resilient. i am capable of greatness. i am confident.

namaste.

out of sight…

…sometimes i look through my eyes  and my vision seems like/feels like…

…instead of vision being like a theoretical thing…

…it’s more like a physical substance… 

…the best way that i can think of to describe it…

…is if you have a sieve and you put cheesecloth in it…

…and then, you pour molasses or honey into it….

…the result might be more liquid coming through some areas and less in others…

…the atoms of molasses or honey are fighting to get out…

…so, you can feel yourself exerting maximum effort to see…

…straining really… 

…i’ve been complaining to doctors about this for two years… 

…all doctors say that i’m fine…

…and, this includes an ophthalmologist…

…nothing is wrong…

…there have been times when i’m looking at something… 

…and, it disappears altogether…

…except for the outside fringes… 

…or, i’ve closed my eyes and then opened them…

…and, saw absolutely nothing… 

…i know that this is weird…

…i’m wondering if it could be related to being overly tired… 

…and, having insomnia or being dehydrated…

june 18, 2017…

…today, i am grateful for, 

…waking up at five am and taking buggs for a long walk, before it got hotter than 85°…

…three cups of black coffee enjoyed on the patio at seven am and 92°…

…a delicious breakfast burrito created and served by w***y…

…the nice email that i received from my friend the other day. i appreciated hearing from her and am working on a response…

…a firm plan to work…

…five different types of solitaire to play, to keep my mind occupied and from focusing on upsetting things…

…buggs and his goofy, toothy grin that makes me chuckle everytime i see it…

…for all fathers…my own included…

…the dinner that w***y spent three hours creating for us…

…air conditioning, fans, wet towels, cold showers, spray bottles, ice, and water…

i am competent. i am confident. i am worthy of love.

namaste.

may 24, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…a good night of sleep last night…

…a very early morning walk with buggs, before it got scorching hot…

…two cups of black coffee at the apartment, on the patio, and three cups at a restaurant this morning…

…breakfast at house of hash a-go-go. i had the homemade corned beef hash…

…time to try to catch up and finish the thing that i dropped the ball on, because of technical difficulties, and sleep sickness, due to medication cut-back…

…r*****d’s desire to help me to finish what i need to get done…

my spirit is strong. my mind is sharp. my heart is full.

namaste.

may 23, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…buggs. he is responsible for the smile on my face and the spring in my step. he is my confidant and constant companion. he gives me comfort and love. when he flashes his toothy grin, it makes me laugh…

…a decent night of sleep and waking up as myself, not an amnesiac…

…a long predawn walk with buggs, before it got super hot, and unbearable…

…a nice conversation with a friend, before going to therapy…

…a very rough, but valuable session with my 🕵…

…finding a great deal on chicken breasts at albertson’s…10 chicken breasts for $4.68…

…being able to drive the crv to therapy…

…a nice, long nap with buggs…

…photos and a video of my dogs, cash and carly, from s***h…

…a really delicious meal, prepared by w***y…

…j***y giving buggs a bath. now he smells fresher and feels better…

…the time that i had with my mom, throughout my lifetime and before she died…

…better health and more strength…

…all of my friends…

i am healthy. i am strong. i am worthy.

namaste.

may 10, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…a good start to having the card box constructed. i’ve got all of the parts and tools that i’ll need to finish. i’ll work on it more tomorrow and hopefully finish it…

…several long walks with buggs today. we were seeing how many we could do, without doing shorter ones. buggs is helping me to become faster, more agile, stronger, and more confident…

…three cups of black coffee on the patio…

…a nice cool breeze, a few light sprinkles, and a limited amount of uv rays made the day beautiful weather-wise…

…r*****d being nice and quiet today, because he experienced a “haunting” last night. now mind you, we three girls have all experienced some very unexplained experiences here in this apartment. r*****d never did. last night, he was awakened by a rush of air and his blanket being pulled off. that’s what he said anyway and he’s been quiet for the rest of the day…

…conversation with friends…

…losing four more pounds…

…lunch and dinner prepared by w***y…

i am hopeful. i am confident. i am worthy of love.

namaste.