a meditation…

…for tonight. our meditation focuses on something that i have been dealing with for the last week, anger. i haven’t expressed full realized anger, but i have expressed frustration, confusion, irritability, surliness, crossness, and crankiness…it is the heat of the desert that pushes me closer toward anger and my melting/boiling point. this meditation focuses on utilizing regression to transform and resolve anger.

tonight’s meditation:

out of sight…

…sometimes i look through my eyes  and my vision seems like/feels like…

…instead of vision being like a theoretical thing…

…it’s more like a physical substance… 

…the best way that i can think of to describe it…

…is if you have a sieve and you put cheesecloth in it…

…and then, you pour molasses or honey into it….

…the result might be more liquid coming through some areas and less in others…

…the atoms of molasses or honey are fighting to get out…

…so, you can feel yourself exerting maximum effort to see…

…straining really… 

…i’ve been complaining to doctors about this for two years… 

…all doctors say that i’m fine…

…and, this includes an ophthalmologist…

…nothing is wrong…

…there have been times when i’m looking at something… 

…and, it disappears altogether…

…except for the outside fringes… 

…or, i’ve closed my eyes and then opened them…

…and, saw absolutely nothing… 

…i know that this is weird…

…i’m wondering if it could be related to being overly tired… 

…and, having insomnia or being dehydrated…

a meditation for tonight…

…tonight’s meditation focuses on gratitude…being grateful for all that we have is the best way to achieve lasting happiness. living in gratitude leaves a clear pathway and open door for abundance to enter our lives…

tonight’s meditation:

june 18, 2017…

…today, i am grateful for, 

…waking up at five am and taking buggs for a long walk, before it got hotter than 85°…

…three cups of black coffee enjoyed on the patio at seven am and 92°…

…a delicious breakfast burrito created and served by w***y…

…the nice email that i received from my friend the other day. i appreciated hearing from her and am working on a response…

…a firm plan to work…

…five different types of solitaire to play, to keep my mind occupied and from focusing on upsetting things…

…buggs and his goofy, toothy grin that makes me chuckle everytime i see it…

…for all fathers…my own included…

…the dinner that w***y spent three hours creating for us…

…air conditioning, fans, wet towels, cold showers, spray bottles, ice, and water…

i am competent. i am confident. i am worthy of love.

namaste.

may 31, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…new seasons of bloodline, house of cards, and orange is the new black, on netflix…

…a beautiful sunrise of fuchsias and violets…

…an early morning walk with buggs, although it was really humid and sticky…

…four cups of black coffee, in my favorite mug, which is just generic white, 1950’s diner style…

…five different types of tournament solitaire (klondike, spider, free cell, pyramid, and tri-peak) to keep my busy mind from wandering, too far…

…i’m grateful that my friend, g***e, made it home safely from, india…where she had hip surgery. i wish her a very, speedy recovery…

…all of my friends…

…r*****d taking us girls to the omelette house for breakfast…yummy eggs…

…the money to pay, r*****d, back what i owed him…

…the fact that i get paid tomorrow…

…a quiet evening without r*****d. he went out gambling…

i am strong and healthy. i am able and agile. i am open to possibility. 

namaste.

may 28, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…finishing the last of the things that i needed to finish with my package last night…

…a good night of sleep…

…a nice, long, predawn walk with buggs before things got too hot outside…

…the help that i received from richard…

…finally being able to walk into fedex, package in hand, and send the cards on their way…

…the photos that i received of my mom’s prized irises in full bloom…

…finally being able to get my storage problem solved…

…my dad seeing and realizing with his own eyes and ears how much a person can change in one year with the right goals, plan, and motivation in place. he said that he couldn’t believe his eyes when i walked quickly, steadily, ably, and agily to his car. he also never expected me to give him, what he’s never been able to give me…acceptance and to be told to follow his heart, and just be happy. he was excited by my plan to follow my heart and make my way back home, as well as pursuing my master’s degree. it was shocking and surprising to hear…

…all of the veterans and active duty military people, serving around the world. the veterans and active duty military people who are in my life: two of my uncles, my cousin t*m, my friend k*, and my friend j**s. all of these people personify bravery and courage. they stepped up, so that people like me, could live safely and freely…and most of all, because they are true patriots, who love their country…

i am curiosity personified. i am full of stories and childlike wonder. i am creative and possess an imagination like no other.

namaste.

may 24, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…a good night of sleep last night…

…a very early morning walk with buggs, before it got scorching hot…

…two cups of black coffee at the apartment, on the patio, and three cups at a restaurant this morning…

…breakfast at house of hash a-go-go. i had the homemade corned beef hash…

…time to try to catch up and finish the thing that i dropped the ball on, because of technical difficulties, and sleep sickness, due to medication cut-back…

…r*****d’s desire to help me to finish what i need to get done…

my spirit is strong. my mind is sharp. my heart is full.

namaste.