so, there buggs and i were…surrounded by the beauty of the harbor and the forests. i walked around and took photos.
i felt weird physically. i was having a shooting pain going down my lower spine and it hurt to walk.
i also felt weird psychically…like something was lost or gone and like things were beginning to shift.
i got into the car with buggs, sat down, and smelled the sea air…i was home and it was beautiful. i missed it so.
then, i just felt overwhelming sadness and a sense of loss. the tears came down my cheeks and i sat there sobbing.
when i was finally able to pull it halfway together…which was hard because i was sleep starved.
i made an online reservation at a hotel in bremerton and pointed the car in that general direction.
we drove by the naval yards and saw the big ships and aircraft carriers. we were listening to j**s’s playlist.
by the time we got to the hotel, i could barely walk and i was beginning to slur my words and not make any sense.
i stumbled into the lobby to get the key and nearly dropped to the floor from the excruciating pain that i felt.
i got buggs and i situated and i began writing about everything that i was feeling and thinking.
even though my body had no sleep, my mind was awake and writing and creating. i was wired and focused.
i put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the carefully folded hearts. i took photos and wrote about them.
i stayed up all night and went to asleep finally at about 0300. 0900 came around and i had to crawl to the bathroom.
i couldn’t walk and standing wasn’t much better, i took a hot bath in hopes that it would make things better. it did.
we decided that we weren’t ready to leave home yet and ended up recuperating there for a few days.