sleep well…

do what you do before bed.

put your favorite music on.

light a lavender candle.

come over and sit with me.

we’re not going to talk.

we won’t even share a glance.

just snuggle down in the pillows.

listen to the music.

let your mind go where it will.

i have warm, clean hands.

i’ll take your right hand, in my left.

supporting it, as i work on the pressure points of your thumb…the web between thumb and index finger…the pressure points of your index finger…web between index and middle finger…the pressure points of your middle finger…web between middle and ring finger…the pressure points of your ring finger…web between ring and pinkie finger…pressure points of pinkie finger…pressure points of palm and wrist. i repeat the process with your left hand.

stay there.

i’m going to wash my hands.

and then, i’m going to rub your right foot. i work on the pressure points of your big toe…the web between big toe and second toe…pressure points of second toe…the web between second and third toe…pressure points of third toe…the web between third and fourth toe…pressure points of fourth toe…the web between fourth and pinkie toe…pressure points of pinkie toe…pressure points of arch, heel, and ankle. i repeat the process with your left foot.

i’m going to wash my hands.

scoot forward a little bit, please.

i’m working on your temples first and then moving down to jaws…relieving stress and tension. i massage your scalp and the base of your skull. i finish by rubbing your neck and shoulders.

i’m getting up.

i’m going to help you up.

do what you need to do.

i will blow out the candle, put a kiss on your forehead, bid you a goodnight, and leave you to slumber until morning.





on a note unrelated to anything…

…that i’ve posted here…

(this is from a few days ago now)

i don’t want to to speak too soon and jinx anything or count my chickens before they’ve hatched.

i will say that today has been extraordinary. yes, it’s been a terrifying and thrilling rollercoaster ride.

i was pressed to the back of my seat, feet flat on the ground, and holding onto real objects to keep me grounded.

i’ve been thinking for days examining my thoughts, feelings, emotions, moods, intentions, body language, wants, needs.

today, i utilized my self-evident truths and chose to do things differently, but, not in a “george costanza,” kind of way.

two nights ago, i wrote my truths on index cards. i laid the cards out and arranged according to patterns i saw.

i took each pattern and made it into a paragraph. the paragraphs gave me a rough draft, a skeleton to flesh out.

it came easily, directly from the heart…a piece that clearly and accurately summed up everything, all of my truths.

it was accepted for publication on last night, but i chose not to talk about it, until it had been read…

today, i was scared, but confident in my resolve to be okay, to hold it together, to continue to carry on, thrive, and grow…

regardless of the outcome of releasing these truths and realizations to their intended, their inspiration.

it was more of a proclamation than anything else. it was crystal clear, not vague, cluttered, or messy.

i had to blow-up the box from the inside and put it back together again, one piece at a time…

…without gaps, glue, or fasteners and re-craft it…seamlessly and masterfully into a work of art. and, i did!!


more photos from our first journey…

our journey back from trip one…

…lord knows i’m old and rusty, i’ve been around the bend and back…said, seen, heard, and experienced some crazy, messed up, extraordinary, spectacular, and awe inspiring shit.

this journey pushed me completely through my comfort zone and pulled me out the other side. i can’t reiterate how much i value having had buggs my co-pilot and j**s my “invisible friend” always with me.

i will say that spokane is an interesting place, maybe one day i will go back and explore. it’s weird. it seems like it’s built in layers that spiral. it confused me, but i was tired.

my customers paid me by personal check, so, i set off to find a us bank to deposit them. i was in search of a drive through atm. it was hot and i had buggs in the car. google took me to five different locations, all inside of grocery stores.

i was tired. i was frustrated. and, i’m relatively sure that i was talking to myself, as i checked my mirrors, looked behind me, and backed carefully out. suddenly, there was yelling.

i parked, got out, and saw that i had backed into someone, who was trying to speed behind me. yeah, interior of new to me car fouled, exterior of new to me car dinged. luckily, the guy and his daughter were nice to me and i didn’t cry.

i will say that when i was standing outside of the car that day exchanging information, it was the first time that i felt my lower back go out and the pain of the nerves running down my legs into my feet. i just thought that it was ms.

i remember that i was irritated and worried about what to do and where to go. i was cranky with j**s. i just decided to drive to kennewick, wa. it was familiar, as my grandma and grandpa used to live there.

kennewick was two hours from spokane and i just wanted to get there. i was tired. i knew that i had been cranky with j**s. i was listening to music and planning our next move in my mind. it was dark. i wasn’t really paying much attention to how fast i was going.

and, i saw him hiding in the median, as i sped past. i saw the all too familiar lights in the mirror and then heard the wail of the siren. it was a connell, wa sheriff’s deputy.

he was cute and sweet and kind. he let me off with a warning, if i promised to quit speeding. he told me that it was mule deer migration season and he didn’t want to see me lose a battle with one. i liked him!

buggs and i arrived at our deluxe accomodations at the kennewick wal-mart. we slept for a bit, woke up, and there within view was a us bank with a drive through atm. i couldn’t believe my eyes.

we decided to get a couple of cheap cheeseburgers at mcdonald’s and i got a large iced coffee with two extra shots of espresso. i took buggs for a potty walk and we watched several feral kittens scatter, as we passed the dumpster. it made me think of s***h.

i wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. i had placed repeated bids for other jobs, over and over…nothing was working out. j**s texted and we talked. she helped me to see that i had fulfilled my original mission, which was to transport my charges safely to spokane.

she told me that at the end of any mission, the troops rally and return to base camp. she helped me to realize that i needed to go back to my base camp and rest for my next mission.

j**s sent me on my way with a song, “my little traveler,” by death cab for cutie. she said that it was apropos. buggs and i pointed our car onward toward pendleton and la grande, or.

i was driving a lot, so, i had made it a point to wear my compression stockings, since i’m prone to blood clots. somewhere along the way, i became aware that they were really hurting my ankles, feet, and toes. i couldn’t stand it any longer.

i saw a mcdonald’s up ahead in la grande, or. i pulled over there and must have really been a sight. wearing shabby, baggy, drooping clothes…old lady, nude compression stockings…and, slip-on, checkerboard vans.

i parked, jumped out of the car, and began the task of peeling the nearly, melted-on stockings off of my legs and feet.

and suddenly, i was very aware that i was “that lady.” she’s around fifty, shabby clothes, support stockings, talking to herself, and looking slightly crazy.

in that moment, i made a mental note that if i was going to be a fifty-year-old cougar, from now on, i was going to own the hell out of that shit.

i’m pushing myself even harder, getting a new wardrobe, and always looking my very best for myself and for others that i may cross paths with throughout my day.

more tomorrow…

more photos from our journey…

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the rest of the first drop-off of pets…

…so, as i drove through the pitch black gorge, unable to see, big trucks all around i felt something wet splashing on me. i couldn’t figure out what it was, because i couldn’t see anything. then, came a familiar ammonia smell, cat urine. there was a pissed off puss throwing his pee on me (the owner did not include a litter box.). there was nothing that i could do.

i drove on. next came a god awful smell from the backseat…the cats. and then, as if on cue, all five cats began howling and caterwauling, which in turn got buggs and olivia barking. i was tired and frazzled and went with the first thing that entered my mind. i began singing religious songs from my childhood. mind you, to drown out the cats, i was nearly screaming.

i “sang” for three hours straight. i was a half hour away from spokane, in somewhere called ritzville. i needed gas and i needed to use the restroom. one my way to the cashier, something told me to pick-up some paper towels and i did. i filled the gas tank, opened the car door, and went to get inside.

buggs was rather frantic and i quickly realized why. he had had diarrhea all over my driver seat. i couldn’t and didn’t get mad at buggs. i was mad at myself. i was glad that i picked up the roll of papertowels, cleaned it up the best that i could, and stuck a blanket it on it.

we arrived in spokane at 0600, 24 hours since we began driving the day before. i dropped off 4 cats and 1 dog, received payment, and tried to deliver the “pissy cat,” the one who covered me in urine. however, no one responded. j**s told me to get a room and let the owners come to me to get the cat.

i took a bath and soaked. buggs slept. j**s talked to us through the whole day, making sure that i got sleep, had my feet up, and stayed hydrated. i bid on jobs and looked into having my car detailed. other than taking buggs out to go potty, we never left our room.

tomorrow, i will write about our journey back from our first trip.


more photos from our journey…

…okay, our photos left off at corning, ca…right before our climb up into the mountains. we begin at the first reststop up the mountain…the lakehead rest area…and we conclude at la pine, or at dusk, in a thick haze from the wildfires.

mind you…buggs and i began in fremont, ca…having slept in the car, in a denny’s parking lot. we picked up, bear the cat at 0600. by the time we reached la pine, or it was about 2000.

i had five cats and two dogs in the car with me. which meant every two to three hours stopping to potty walk, feed, and water dogs…clean up after cats, feed, and water. i also needed to photograph each one and send to owner with our eta, etc.

by the time i reached the motherfucking columbia gorge it was pitch fucking black. i was on a two lane, winding road, with big trucks, and bright lights and i couldn’t see. it was white knuckle driving, like i’d never known it…will fill in the rest tomorrow.

but, by the time we reached our final destination…spokane, wa…it was 0600…24 hours straight of driving, walking, feeding, photographing, etc. and, i got five cats, two dogs, and myself safely to spokane, wa. i did it with my co-pilot buggs…we rocked!!

A post shared by K W (@sprockets111) on