this past weekend…

buggs and i picked up a giant german shepherd named, lucious…in norman, oklahoma and transported him to lincoln, nebraska.

it was a fun trip. i was delivering lucious to a former professional football player (for the san diego chargers). who is now a coaching assistant for the nebraska cornhuskers.

it was rather exciting to drive right up to memorial stadium…home of giant college games that i have seen on tv so many times over the years. it was beautiful and grand.

lucious’s owner was such a nice guy!! he gave me a big hug when we met and when i left. the reunion between him and lucious was a magical moment. he may have shed a tear or two.

buggs and i spent the night in belleville, kansas. we stayed in a hotel run by the nicest family. our room was nice and the bed fantastic. i had the best night of sleep that i’ve had in years there.

we arrived back from our quick trip yesterday afternoon. we were greeted by very hot and humid weather. the temperature was 94°. we went inside and cranked on the a/c.


it’s all just a blur now…

life has changed radically for me. i have gone from being dependent on others, heavily medicated, unhealthy, and really not doing much…with a lot of free time on my hands to write…to being completely independent of others, not heavily medicated (went from 26 meds down to 5), healthy and able, and doing so much with my life that i don’t have as much time to write as i once had.

i live independently of others. it’s just me and buggs. while we help others in my family…mainly my sister and dad…we no longer live with them. i come and go as i please and i am accountable to no one else but myself and buggs. i have made many new friends and we do stuff like plant a garden, play cards and games, go out to eat, go to the free movies, and more. it feels good to be beholden to no one.

when i was in washington…i was on 32 different medications. in montana, that amount was cut to 26. in nevada, that amount was cut to 24. and now…here in oklahoma, i take a total of 5 different medications. i no longer fall asleep, when i am supposed to be awake. i don’t feel at all sleepy when driving. i feel alert and alive and it feels so much better than being overly medicated.

i walk and workout each day, being mindful of burning 1000 more calories than i consume. i am eating a healthy diet and lots of protein. i am building muscle and losing fat. i am strengthening my core and gaining endurance. i am stronger and more able-bodied than i have been in 10-15 years. i am proud of myself.

i am always busy here. there is always something to do. i’ve had five dog transports in the last 4 weeks. i have visited arizona, new mexico, texas, arkansas, kansas, and nebraska as of late. i’ve been busy helping with my nieces and running errands. i’ve been going all over taking photographs. buggs and i are having one adventure after another.

i am happy being independent, fully alert, healthy, stronger, and able to choose my own adventure each day. i feel vital, capable, useful, and free. those are good feelings to have. i like me much better now. i know that i am worthy and deserving of love.

haha…no, i didn’t forget…

…that your birthday has come and gone with no mention from me. i had something that i had written in honor of your forty-forth birthday. however, april twenty-ninth was not a good day for me.

i woke up tired but okay at a friend’s house. i was up most of the night…first playing cards and then just not being able to sleep. it was just so hot and muggy. i talked to j**s until i finally fell asleep.

around two pm, i began feeling not quite right. i was dizzy and lightheaded. i had a very low grade fever and began sweating profusely. my friend offered me dinner and i picked at it a little bit. i ate some broccoli, a bite of potato, a roll.

then the room felt like it was spinning and i laid my head down on the table. i felt like i was going to vomit. my friend brought a big, green, deep bowl and placed it by my head. as soon as she did that, i began vomitting uncontrollably.

after about ten minutes i felt good enough to sit outside and vape and talk to j**s. i remember picking myself up off of the ground and that i hit my head. i remember walking into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth.

the feeling came over me again and i vomited uncontrollably into her bathtub. finally, i felt good enough to drive myself back to where i was staying. i went directly into the backyard and proceeded to vomit.

i remember falling and hit my head a second time. then i got up…only to repeat falling and hitting my head for the third time. i laid on my back on the concrete patio slab and vomited uncontrollably.

it would pour out with half of it streaming down my face and into my hair and ears…and the other half getting sucked back in. i was choking. finally someone came out and rolled me face down into the grass where it continued.

finally, i was able to pick myself up and someone gave me a wet washcloth and clean shirt. i was taken to the weatherford, oklahoma emergency room. i was given zofran and sent on my merry way. i was given no fluids.

i got back to where i was staying and passed out in a recliner until the evening of the next day. when i woke up every bone and muscle in my body ached. i had a horrible headache and absolutely no apetite.

i have terrible neuropathy in my feet. my meds don’t seem to help much anymore. i saw an ad for cbd oil and thought that i might be able to use something natural to help with the awful pain that i feel.

i vaped the cbd oil. initially, it seemed to help…but apparently that was the culprit that made me so sick. it interfered with how things were metabolized in my liver and kept me from making you a birthday post.

so, i didn’t forget!! i thought of you often throughout your day and celebrated you in my mind and in my heart. i hope that you enjoyed a wonderful day surrounded by family and friends. You deserve the very best that life has to offer.

happy belated birthday…to you…




lately, i haven’t had a moment to stop, slow down, catch up, or breathe easily. the last few weeks have been filled with new journeys. while still struggling to write about our second journey, buggs and i have completed journeys number four, five, six, and seven.

in comparison to our first three journeys, these have been rather boring and uneventful…perhaps that’s because they have been shorter trips and trips to places that i’ve already been and really don’t interest me.

for the first of these trips, we transported a rottweiler/pit puppy from norman, ok to tucson, az…from there we drove down to odessa, tx and picked up a terrier going to cookson, ok. next, we picked up a bulldog in moore, ok and took to hardy, tx. then we went right back and picked up a bengal kitten in edmond, ok and dropped off in kansas city, mo.

there was really no time to do much photography, except for a half an hour in hatch, new mexico. my driving team was in place as always…my co-pilot buggs and my co-co-pilot j**s…however, as i said these were all fast, long trips…the last one was seventeen hours round trip.

once buggs and i arrived back in oklahoma, we were extremely exhausted and crashed hard. we both woke up feeling worn out and sick. buggs with allergies from all of the pollen in the air and i have been laid flat by the flu. the only time in several days that i’ve been outside, is to take buggs potty.

i have been laying on top of my bed, under my blanket watching house hunters on hulu and going in and out of consciousness. i can’t seem to stay awake for very long. my head is full of snot…i have a fever…and i just basically feel like shit.

i have fallen behind on my blog and i feel bad about it. as i begin to feel better, i want to get back to posting daily and eventually back to posting several times daily. life never really seems to turn out how i plan it, so we’ll just take it as it comes.

our second journey, part twenty…west yellowstone, mt to island park, id…

the snow fell steadily through yellowstone national park and up until west yellowstone, where we stopped to get gas and i got myself some coffee. the gas station had a help wanted sign and i thought seriously about applying and just staying. it was so beautiful and everyone was really nice.

we left there and pulled up and parked at a gravel lot. i took buggs out for a walk and to go potty. there were all kinds of interesting things that people must have just thrown from their windows, as they drove by. buggs was patient with me as i collected stones like a penguin…to give to j**s later.

we got back into the car and drove on. i noticed that the landscape was changing rapidly. the scenery was breathtaking. i wasn’t sure exactly where we were until we saw this tiny cemetery. it said, “island park cemetery.” i looked it up online and discovered that we were in idaho.

i photographed the cemetery from the outside and then drove inside. it was mysterious and foggy out. the glorious colors of autumn were everywhere. it was still and silent out. you could have heard a pin drop. all of the sudden, i looked up and there was a white horse.

the great, white horse seemed to just appear…it didn’t come from anywhere that i saw. he was magical and mystical and amazing. he pranced along the fence as i shot his photo. my mind saw him as a unicorn. i instantly thought of j**s and her stories of feeding the wild minnesota horses apples.

i immediately sent j**s the photos and video, she got a kick out of it. we drove on and pulled over at the three tetons historical marker. it was so beautiful there. i took a panoramic photo. idaho definitely stole my heart as well as my breath. i could see buggs and i maybe living a yurt somewhere there.

our second journey, part nineteen photos…yellowstone national park, mt to west yellowstone, mt…