i never knew…

…that when i was looking for a dog to adopt, that i would actually find the one that i was supposed to have.

i worried about adopting a dog that ended up having major issues like: separation anxiety, aggression, or health problems.

i was looking at petfinder.com, when i saw a rust colored, gargoyle with orange eyes. he looked like an egyptian anubis and he looked like he knew the secrets of the universe. he wasn’t too big and he wasn’t too small…he was the perfect size dog.

everyday, i went onto the website and showed r*****d his photo. everyday, r*****d would tell me how ugly the little guy was and that we couldn’t have a dog.

the process went on for three months. and, everyday that i went on and looked, i worried would be the day that i’d no longer see his angular face.

one day in particular, i was feeling really sad and lonely. i was sitting in my chair quietly writing, and the tears just came spilling down my face. i was so sad, so lonely, and just so alone…in a place that i hated.

r*****d, who hates it when i cry, looked over at me and demanded to know what was wrong. i told him that i was so sad and lonely, that my heart hurt. he asked me what would make me feel better, good enough to stop crying.

i immediately knew what i would and did say…a dog! not just any dog, that dog that i looked at everyday.  i made some calls and found out that he was still available. the next day, i adopted him from a rescue.

suddenly, i belonged to another heart and soul. there was another compassionate being that loved and cared about me. i was his mama and he was my boy. i was no longer alone.

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his royal highness, king buggs

 

may 6, 2017…

today, i am grateful for…

…my 12 pound wake up call. he pounced on my chest at 5 am and poked me on my unicorn (c-pap), until i opened my eyes. when i opened my eyes…i saw my orange-eyed gargoyle, perfectly perched, on the pinnacle of my chest. i removed my unicorn and he started doing the “w***y’s leaving for work…hurry mom, hurry dance.” we greeted, w***y, and saw her off to work. then, we went for a long walk…

…getting some of the cards scanned, before r*****d took a nap…

…a nice email from my friend…

…being able to move forward with my plans and being one step closer to achieving my ultimate dream and goal…going home and being able to buy my modest beach cottage…

…being able to get on my rowing machine and row away my frustration, anxiety, and fears…

…getting to talk to my friend, g***e, as she drove home to colorado. she is flying to india in four days. she is going to see the taj mahal and wanted to know what i would like her to bring me. i thought about it and i asked her if there were any pebbles there…to bring me back a pebble…as i’ve been collecting them, as i go here and there. she is having hip surgery on may 15, while there…

i am hopeful. i am valid. i am deserving.

namaste.