waiting…

the washer and the dryer.

in my mind,

i hear one say, “un-uh”

and the other one answer, “oh yeah,”

while sitting in a tiny kitchen,

in a familiar folding metal chair

waiting for the chili

that i prepared all day yesterday

to reheat, as no one including me ate it.

i am pondering the cornbread

reclining peacefully and untouched

in a simple, red dish made of crockery.

the cheddar is grated and in a bowl.

the sour cream and chopped onion

just waiting, like me.

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sleep well…

do what you do before bed.

put your favorite music on.

light a lavender candle.

come over and sit with me.

we’re not going to talk.

we won’t even share a glance.

just snuggle down in the pillows.

listen to the music.

let your mind go where it will.

i have warm, clean hands.

i’ll take your right hand, in my left.

supporting it, as i work on the pressure points of your thumb…the web between thumb and index finger…the pressure points of your index finger…web between index and middle finger…the pressure points of your middle finger…web between middle and ring finger…the pressure points of your ring finger…web between ring and pinkie finger…pressure points of pinkie finger…pressure points of palm and wrist. i repeat the process with your left hand.

stay there.

i’m going to wash my hands.

and then, i’m going to rub your right foot. i work on the pressure points of your big toe…the web between big toe and second toe…pressure points of second toe…the web between second and third toe…pressure points of third toe…the web between third and fourth toe…pressure points of fourth toe…the web between fourth and pinkie toe…pressure points of pinkie toe…pressure points of arch, heel, and ankle. i repeat the process with your left foot.

i’m going to wash my hands.

scoot forward a little bit, please.

i’m working on your temples first and then moving down to jaws…relieving stress and tension. i massage your scalp and the base of your skull. i finish by rubbing your neck and shoulders.

i’m getting up.

i’m going to help you up.

do what you need to do.

i will blow out the candle, put a kiss on your forehead, bid you a goodnight, and leave you to slumber until morning.

 

 

 

on a note unrelated to anything…

…that i’ve posted here…

(this is from a few days ago now)

i don’t want to to speak too soon and jinx anything or count my chickens before they’ve hatched.

i will say that today has been extraordinary. yes, it’s been a terrifying and thrilling rollercoaster ride.

i was pressed to the back of my seat, feet flat on the ground, and holding onto real objects to keep me grounded.

i’ve been thinking for days examining my thoughts, feelings, emotions, moods, intentions, body language, wants, needs.

today, i utilized my self-evident truths and chose to do things differently, but, not in a “george costanza,” kind of way.

two nights ago, i wrote my truths on index cards. i laid the cards out and arranged according to patterns i saw.

i took each pattern and made it into a paragraph. the paragraphs gave me a rough draft, a skeleton to flesh out.

it came easily, directly from the heart…a piece that clearly and accurately summed up everything, all of my truths.

it was accepted for publication on vocal.media last night, but i chose not to talk about it, until it had been read…

today, i was scared, but confident in my resolve to be okay, to hold it together, to continue to carry on, thrive, and grow…

regardless of the outcome of releasing these truths and realizations to their intended, their inspiration.

it was more of a proclamation than anything else. it was crystal clear, not vague, cluttered, or messy.

i had to blow-up the box from the inside and put it back together again, one piece at a time…

…without gaps, glue, or fasteners and re-craft it…seamlessly and masterfully into a work of art. and, i did!!

 

“rolling in the deep”…

tongue-tied and twisted up…

as the plot keeps changing…

in a movie that is not my own…

as the writers constantly change…

update, and change my dialogue again…

they hand me my new script…

completely different from the old one…

the one that i knew by heart…

and had committed to memory…

i’m given a small amount of time…

to familiarize myself with the lines…

memorize my stage direction and marks…

and, at the end there are three highlighted lines…

“study and practice the new attributes of your character.”…

“natasha is now an exotic dancer…she dances nude, wearing only heels…speaks only russian.”…

“your call is at 0600…using dawn’s light to highlight natasha’s dance on top of a towncar, while singing “rolling in the deep,” in russian to a wealthy businessman, in mid-town manhattan.”…

“no peace for the wicked”…

…is a song that’s near and dear to my heart. it’s from the into the gap album, by the thompson twins, from 1984.

i used to listen to this cassette tape over and over again. i knew every word and every bit of percussion.

you see, i loved tom bailey’s voice, but i was absolutely gaga for alannah currie, who played percussion and also sang.

at the time, they were my very favorite band. i saw them once with my friend, m*****n and her brother, m*****l.

i saw them three or four times with my first girlfriend, p***a. we also met them once and got their autographs.

anyway, there is also, “no peace for the wicked,” in the desert. my friend, j**s, says that she has beachfront property…

…to the lake of fire (hades)…the scorching hot desert. if there is a devil, he lives here…in the desert…for sure…

at 10:30 pm, it was still 107°, with 16% humidity. and, when you live in a desert with 0% humidity, 16% is miserable.

at 2:52 am, it cooled down very significantly to 100°, with 16% humidity. much, much cooler…not!!

this morning at 8:27 am, it was still very cool and pleasant 😂 at 100°, but with only 10% humidity, so much better 😅.

right now, at 9:25 am, it is 100°, with 15% humidity. there is no breeze or circulation of air, it’s very sticky, heavy.

there is a 55% chance of precipitation this afternoon, which will make the humidity 14%, with a high of 114°

like the thompson twins so aptly sang,”(there’s no peace) no peace for the wicked…we’re dancing till we drop…(there’s no rest) no rest for the wicked…
and we’re all too scared to stop”…