8:49 pm and 113°…

…it’s a little hot and i’m quite toasty. j***y gave me a wet towel for my head. i am sitting in front of the fan and i feel better. the air conditioning helps, but it’s struggling to cool our three bedroom apartment. i’ve had a difficult day. i accomplished so much, but yet so little. i got everything done today except for what i really wanted to get done. it was an up and down day. one minute up, one minute down…if it wasn’t r*****d causing arguments and calling us to off load groceries…it was misunderstandings between all of us girls…if it wasn’t that, it was a personal dilemma over a stupid text message. today, everything melted…the groceries, the household, and me. i really don’t drink due to medication, but tonight…iced cold hard cider sounded really good. so, as i work on my seventh cider…i realize that tomorrow is just going to be hotter and more things are going to melt…the desert is neither easy, nor friendly.

hairs cut…

…each and every one of them. i was beginning to look all wild and wooly, or so the girls told me…but, i failed to get a woman’s opinion on the matter…that’s neither here nor there, but today i went back to being addressed by, “sir”…which i actually hadn’t heard in a few months and kind of liked…but, i figure with this heat it’ll be grown out to be wild and wooly proportions again…in about three weeks…

so now, i think that i look like a cop…behold good cop and bad cop…

just waking up…

…i tried to stay up as long as i possibly could last night…

…i wanted to hear about the combative, drunk lady, with .228 blood alcohol concentration…

…i was curious to know about people’s reactions to the website…

…i just wanted to listen and not have to say anything. i am so tired of hearing myself talk about nothing of importance…

…i am inspired by new ideas that surround me and my plan moves forward…

drained…

…yesterday, i was out in the sun for most of the day, by the time that i got back to the apartment…i was completely drained.

…i went to bed really early last night and i fell asleep very promptly. at some point, i ended up accidentally calling my friend.

…after doing that, i fell asleep again, but woke up at 3:45 am…still clutching my phone. apparently, i was sending a text.

drained and needing a haircut

surreal shopping…

…the other day, i was asked to go to albertsons to buy some protein. i was leaving from therapy, which was across the street. by the time i arrived at albertsons, i knew that i had a problem. 

i wasn’t able to see at all out of one eye, which also affected the other. i was having a hell of a time. i made it out of the car and to the first cart that i could grab onto. it was a home depot cart.

i walked around the store leaning on a cart and tried to find the meat department. i finally found it, but couldn’t see prices or pounds. finally, i just grabbed what i knew…several steaks and ground beef. 

i turned around and tried to navigate my way through the maze of aisles. i started feeling really shaky, sweaty,  and disoriented. i went down the candy aisle and clung to the cart until i felt better.

i finally reached the registers and the cashier and bag boy were so nice and kind to me. i let them know that i wasn’t feeling quite right and they helped me through the entire process.

i made it back to the car and loaded the groceries. i got in and went into “jellyfish mode” in the front seat. i ate something and rehydrated myself. i felt good enough to leave and could see again, so i left.

my sweet new ride…

today, i picked up my rental for lyft, from hertz. i had my choice of a nissan altima or a volkswagen tiguan. one a mid-size sedan and the other an suv. ultimately, i chose according to gas mileage. the altima gets 30 mpg and the tiguan got 22 mpg. the altima it was.

i noticed that the keys were weird, but went and got inside my car. i got buckled in, adjusted all of the mirrors, attached my phone to the window mount, and then i took the e-brake off. here’s where i began getting confused. there was no key and no directions, just a big button, “push to start.”

i pushed it repeatedly and the radio would come on, but not the car. i looked…the car was in park…i tried putting my foot on the brake and pushing the button…hot damn the engine roared. problem solved. i settled into my seat, but my short little legs didn’t quite reach the pedals.

i fiddled around with the controls on the left side of my seat. my seat got warm and then cool. it went up and then down. it went backwards, but not forwards. i went back inside and one of the guys came out to help me. he reached down and easily showed me how the button worked.

i adjusted my seat for my short little legs, started the car, and backed out. it took me awhile, but i was finally out on the road, in my sweet new ride.