comfortably numb…

never really enjoying myself, just faking it enough, to take a quick look around, to see if anyone notices. a good rule of thumb is, that if someone else notices me, more than likely, they’re faking it, too.

if someone notices me faking it…i generally make a beeline for them…most of the time, it’s guaranteed they’re the person at the party, that i want to be talking to. they have a story, a spark, or a secret.

most of the time, i’m just numb…comfortably numb. choking back tears, pushing down desire, choking on unrequited love…i desensitize myself to it all, pushing myself to the edge, and then pulling back.

don’t you worry now, because i can carry a lot, on my shoulders. i’m stronger and healthier now, but i’m numb…and, as long as i don’t feel anything, i’m fine…and, as long as i don’t think about you, i’m fine.

84388e631d486a826a34fdaa6596eddb(1)
pain changed me…
2d6259dda13c749cfecbf702304bb77b(1)
just a little…
24c0aaef1357a771ee3b0cd26b16c2fc(1)
absolutely…

31f7c087b4d40eb7846bd034b59f8217(1)

5153070d773d81ac94faba85c1ba312c(1)
true…
e1b87a6ec9c223c602313445ae184438(1)
even if it kills you…
e6dd79ab21db0c76abdf648616ce145c(1)
i’m busy creating it…
cf7d9058eaa306ccf89aff8f6304c65f(1)
the thoughts…they never stop…
65e01e6ee86e03c02c9db625be38dc14(1)
so much has died inside of me…
10df15dc3083e3f4901fe5118d7579bc(1)
true
21d95a2fd7dbcc97c3518a72aec51164(1)
yeah…no shit…
350a2ee109ffd7a47c4aa63768a703a3(1)
i can’t say it, but you know it…
8c9e641d06f01090c6130cfa86603f34
yeah!! heeheehee…i know that you wish that you could…but you can’t…

 

and, there you have it (part one)…

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bluer than blue, sadder than sad…
9ebf83800fb558e2eb72fd81f18e1c4a(1)
that’s right
3649112dd46d0340003ddbec6bca331b(1)
you think…
a0f4c6280af0374e49e75ea9c5cadf53(1)
yep…
350a2ee109ffd7a47c4aa63768a703a3(1)
can’t and won’t…
98f73e2878cb14a012fb0aa80ecc011e
hello, i’m a monster…
ea690781e937507bb9985eac3ddaf26b(1)
here i am…lovably fucked up
e06d474fb702f48ea63c4c25d31104f3(1)
i’m changing…

 

58b67a467adf099a13f642a1c7a8687c
self-explanatory
2c4a5db4c8e20ec8c322bda893ae843e(1)
pretty much…
84388e631d486a826a34fdaa6596eddb(1)
consider me changed…
e1fab233545970478afd965c21b27640(1)
it will always bother me…
a07dde530c36b05b70baa0235b6a1fc3(1)
no regrets…only a gorilla paw, waiting for a hand to hold it
db1f9309d1254f3bb0e759cb7356c457
this goes without saying…
552428f062ea788fbe002b3a2afef300(1)
my soul sings the loudest, during autumn…
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bluer than blue, sadder than sad…