our journey back from trip one…

…lord knows i’m old and rusty, i’ve been around the bend and back…said, seen, heard, and experienced some crazy, messed up, extraordinary, spectacular, and awe inspiring shit.

this journey pushed me completely through my comfort zone and pulled me out the other side. i can’t reiterate how much i value having had buggs my co-pilot and j**s my “invisible friend” always with me.

i will say that spokane is an interesting place, maybe one day i will go back and explore. it’s weird. it seems like it’s built in layers that spiral. it confused me, but i was tired.

my customers paid me by personal check, so, i set off to find a us bank to deposit them. i was in search of a drive through atm. it was hot and i had buggs in the car. google took me to five different locations, all inside of grocery stores.

i was tired. i was frustrated. and, i’m relatively sure that i was talking to myself, as i checked my mirrors, looked behind me, and backed carefully out. suddenly, there was yelling.

i parked, got out, and saw that i had backed into someone, who was trying to speed behind me. yeah, interior of new to me car fouled, exterior of new to me car dinged. luckily, the guy and his daughter were nice to me and i didn’t cry.

i will say that when i was standing outside of the car that day exchanging information, it was the first time that i felt my lower back go out and the pain of the nerves running down my legs into my feet. i just thought that it was ms.

i remember that i was irritated and worried about what to do and where to go. i was cranky with j**s. i just decided to drive to kennewick, wa. it was familiar, as my grandma and grandpa used to live there.

kennewick was two hours from spokane and i just wanted to get there. i was tired. i knew that i had been cranky with j**s. i was listening to music and planning our next move in my mind. it was dark. i wasn’t really paying much attention to how fast i was going.

and, i saw him hiding in the median, as i sped past. i saw the all too familiar lights in the mirror and then heard the wail of the siren. it was a connell, wa sheriff’s deputy.

he was cute and sweet and kind. he let me off with a warning, if i promised to quit speeding. he told me that it was mule deer migration season and he didn’t want to see me lose a battle with one. i liked him!

buggs and i arrived at our deluxe accomodations at the kennewick wal-mart. we slept for a bit, woke up, and there within view was a us bank with a drive through atm. i couldn’t believe my eyes.

we decided to get a couple of cheap cheeseburgers at mcdonald’s and i got a large iced coffee with two extra shots of espresso. i took buggs for a potty walk and we watched several feral kittens scatter, as we passed the dumpster. it made me think of s***h.

i wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. i had placed repeated bids for other jobs, over and over…nothing was working out. j**s texted and we talked. she helped me to see that i had fulfilled my original mission, which was to transport my charges safely to spokane.

she told me that at the end of any mission, the troops rally and return to base camp. she helped me to realize that i needed to go back to my base camp and rest for my next mission.

j**s sent me on my way with a song, “my little traveler,” by death cab for cutie. she said that it was apropos. buggs and i pointed our car onward toward pendleton and la grande, or.

i was driving a lot, so, i had made it a point to wear my compression stockings, since i’m prone to blood clots. somewhere along the way, i became aware that they were really hurting my ankles, feet, and toes. i couldn’t stand it any longer.

i saw a mcdonald’s up ahead in la grande, or. i pulled over there and must have really been a sight. wearing shabby, baggy, drooping clothes…old lady, nude compression stockings…and, slip-on, checkerboard vans.

i parked, jumped out of the car, and began the task of peeling the nearly, melted-on stockings off of my legs and feet.

and suddenly, i was very aware that i was “that lady.” she’s around fifty, shabby clothes, support stockings, talking to herself, and looking slightly crazy.

in that moment, i made a mental note that if i was going to be a fifty-year-old cougar, from now on, i was going to own the hell out of that shit.

i’m pushing myself even harder, getting a new wardrobe, and always looking my very best for myself and for others that i may cross paths with throughout my day.

more tomorrow…

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