behemoths…

…when buggs and i arrived in laurel, p**l was on his way out to a meeting. he welcomed us and showed us around, then he left. buggs and i settled in. i picked to sit in the recliner that i used to sleep in, in the shop. i was exhausted, as was buggs and i needed to put my feet up. i put buggs’ bed between my feet on the leg rest.

we got comfortable and began to relax, when i heard scurrying of small feet and sensed movement. i caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my left eye. i thought it was a mouse. this happened three times before i truly saw what it was. it was a behemoth…big, black, hairy, and meaty. the type of thing that induces nightmares and horror movies.

it had eight fucking legs and made noise as it sauntered around the living room and into my bedroom…yes…my bedroom. i was terrified, but i thought to myself…”there’s just one, p**l will kill it when he gets back.” (which is ironic in a way, because we are both terribly triggered by and traumatized by spiders. we endured similar childhood spider torment.)

i tried to put it out of my mind and settle down. i closed my eyes for a moment, but heard it again…and, sure enough there it was. i still tried to remain calm and say to myself…”there is only one.” but then, i heard an even louder noise and looked to my right just in time to see four to five others come pouring out of the window ledge…headed straight for the chair that we were sitting in.

buggs was oblivious. he was out cold in his bed. i tried to wake him calmly, but he wasn’t moving. they were creeping closer. i had no choice, but to flop the leg rest down and flee the area. i immediately began disrobing in front of the open window. i needed those clothes off and began shaking them, before putting them back on. this scared buggs. he didn’t understand, until he saw one growled, ran away, and hid behind me.

i grabbed him and we went outside. we sat on the concrete steps until p**l arrived. he asked what we were doing. i had him sit down at the table with me and i very calmly explained that he had spiders the size of hockey pucks roaming around his home. he shook his head and laughed. he said, “i would know if i had a spider like that in my house.” i corrected him, “no, spiders!!” he laughed.

and then, as if on cue, one of them trotted by p**l and this twenty-four year old, six foot five inch man shrieked and jumped up on top of the table. he was hysterical. he got down, ran into my room without looking, and began jumping up and down on the thing…yelling and shrieking the whole time…until he was satisfied that it was dead. he came back to the table and sat on the top of the back of the chair.

both of us sat at the table all night until 0900, neither of us slept. we each sat on a chair with our feet up on another chair. we were both traumatized and triggered…fearful of sleeping with spiders and having them crawl on us. it was more than either of us could handle. we talked about where we could go and who we could stay with.

p**l’s two little girls and his friend, m**t came over later. i looked on, as m**t snoozed in the spider recliner holding one of the girls. it gave me the creeps just thinking about the spiders and noises they made the previous night. i was brought back to the present, when i heard the familiar “spider shriek.” followed by, “oh my god…oh my god…oh my god!!” m**t got up to look and said, “that’s the biggest motherfucking spider i’ve ever seen.”

m**t, my hero was unafraid and killed it. i asked how big it was. he said, “that was no spider. that was a behemoth.” he said, “can you envision a large egg frying in a pan, all spread out?” i nodded my head and felt sick. he said, “that’s how big that motherfucker was.” i think that i might be in love with m**t, my behemoth killing hero!! 😘

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