vsw part four…

…so, i’ve been working on focus and becoming very focused on my goal of getting a home on the beach in washington state…my home. i’m focused on making the money that i need and clearing up loose ends here. focus will always be an ongoing struggle and visualization for me.

i’ve begun visualizing something else lately, as well. i’ve been visualizing physical fitness. yes, i’ve lost an enormous amount of weight, but i’ve still got half more to go to reach my goal weight. i’m a work in progress. ha-ha…if i ever make it off of “restriction,” whomever is just going to have to understand that i’m fluid, right now a “shape shifter.”

it’s been nice for me to have j**s to talk to about these things. she’s never been heavy or overweight, but she’s a nurse and deals with all kinds of shapes, sizes and body types. she’s seen all kinds of things and has been very helpful, giving me insightful hints and ideas for maximizing my workouts specifically for each problematic part of my body.

i’m an honest person. for the most part, i tell it like it is. however, i’ve never sat down with anyone before and honestly talked about weight, cellulite, stretch marks, extra skin, etc. j**s did an exercise with me. she had me close my eyes and visualize each part of my body that was problematic and i wanted to change.

i began with my double chin, although way smaller, it’s still there. i pictured it in my mind’s eye. i held the image for quite a while, looking at it from all angles. then with my eyes still closed, she had me visualize how i wanted my chin to look when i’ve attained my physical fitness goals. it was pretty similar to now, except for a little less fatty deposit.

we went through every part of my body. i visualized how it was now and how i wanted it to look when i had attained my physical fitness goal. mind you, this was not in person, but had the same effect. it was incredibly powerful to let go of the body shame, to deal honestly with my own imperfections, and incredibly motivating to see all that i will be.

that night, i was pleasantly surprised when i received a text message that just said, “bike?” i knew what that meant and i headed to the gym. we were riding our exercise bikes together. i can’t text and exercise, but received encouraging messages every so often. it was really fun to have someone to work with and encourage me.

next text, “hydrate!” followed by, “easy core workout for you.” so, when all was said and done, we had done 60 minutes of cardio and i did an easy core circuit workout, because i don’t know any test results yet and don’t want to push myself too hard. afterwards, it was really nice to hear that i was doing a great job and would achieve my goals.

it’s nice to have a person who is strictly a friend want to see me succeed and want to help to push me to be my absolute best. which is incredibly ironic, because i have another friend, the original motivator and inspiration for my healthy change. and that friend, she’s the one who changed my life for the best.

she’s the sage woman that encouraged me to begin visualizing all of my wants, dreams, desires, goals…say them out loud…and then, write about them. this has been really enlightening and helpful advice. i feel like it has already helped me to focus and it is helping me to attain my physical fitness goals.

i do three things before i finally go to sleep at night. i reflect on what i’m grateful for, sometimes i write about it and sometimes i don’t, but i always do it. i do a meditation. once in bed, i visualize those things that i want, dream of, desire, my goals…and as they pop into mind and i focus on them…i say them out loud.

i will have what i want. and, i’ve got this…



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