i very recently went and sat down with a pharmacist for the first time since may 2015…when i was still living in my home of washington state and receiving the best medical care of my life.
having a history of dvt lower extremity and upper extremity, as well as pe’s…i was placed on lifelong warfarin,which meant that i needed to be monitored closely and my inr kept between 2 – 3.
when i was sent to montana, i was still on warfarin and still monitored, although not as closely. i no longer had a pharmacist who closely monitored all of my meds for possible interactions.
once i was exiled in the god damn desert, all monitoring of any kind ceased. in fact, most doctor’s offices here have no labs, so they send you out to labs, the lab techs can’t monitor me.
so, to cut corners…my nurse practioner took me off of warfarin and put me onto xarelto. instead of monitoring me, the state of nevada decided to put me on one of the “killer” blood thinners.
anyway, i finally got in to see a pharmacist. he said that we would take things in chunks. the first chunk were antidepressants, antiemetics, and antihistamines.
we kept the wellbutrin that i was taking and added remeron and deplin. the deplin is an activated follate which is supposed to make my antidepressants work together better.
we got rid of zofran, which no longer worked for nausea and meclizine, which no longer worked for dizziness. the pharmacist said that remeron would work better for both symptoms.
i’m supposed to take the remeron at bedtime, as it makes me incredibly sleepy. the first night that i took it, i passed out right away. the next morning i could’nt wake up for anything.
once i did finally wake up, it was around 1:30 pm. i made it as far as the living room and readily passed out in the chair and was out cold for most of the remainder of the day.
i discussed this with a friend, who suggested that i take half the dose and try that. i still had the same problem the next day, but to a lesser extent, but i don’t like how this makes me feel.
i never want to go backwards to that space in time where i was overly medicated, helpless, 125+ pounds heavier, extremely unhealthy, and very weak.
during that time, i was severely limited in what i could do. i was unable to walk or to get around easily. i was so heavily medicated that i spent most of my time asleep or fighting falling asleep.
i don’t ever want to go backwards. i don’t ever want to go back to that place of being dependent on anyone. i don’t want to be trapped or a prisoner to my own mind, locked inside my head.
i only want to move forwards. i want to continue to be healthy, strong, and independent. i want to continue to be and stay awake. i want to continue to grow into the person that i want to be.
i’m really not sure what to do at this point…