i must be missing something…

…i look at it over and over again to check to see if i have misunderstood a statement or just made it up in my head. sometimes, i doubt my own sanity.

it never changes. it’s always there in black and white, staring at me blankly. so then, i wonder if i’ve been asleep and just stuck in a dream, the same dream over and over. 

check, check, checking and rechecking-it’s maddening. it’s hard for me to interpret the words and actions of others. nonverbal communication can be a killer for me.

it’s something that must drive other people absolutely nuts about me. it makes me feel like i don’t understand anything correctly or clearly…and, i probably never will.

i feel lost and in limbo, because the words that i love, that hold so much meaning…are also the things that once touched by other people, their meanings change forever.

if all of the meanings, usages, and contexts keep changing each time my words are used, i’ll never catch up. i’ll never be relevant. i’ll never be able to understand…

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