i can get what i want…

…and, i will.

tuesday, i had a fantastic therapy and emdr session. we talked about my homework…completing stems and coming up with even more through the comments…

the goal of completing a stem, is to go as fast as possible, without thinking about it…triggering the subconscious mind. by triggering the subconscious mind, you can make interesting self-discoveries and areas for exploration.

the stems are supposed to be easy and not require a lot of thought. you’re supposed to come up with five to ten comments, for each stem.

the next day, you look at your comments and turn them into five different stems each…to be answered the same way…

each day, you just keep digging a bit deeper…learning, growing, and healing as you go. 


day one…

if i knew that i couldn’t fail, i would…

1.) be a stand-up comedian.

2.) ask a pretty girl out.

3.) go back to school 

day two:

1 a.) if i was a stand-up comedian, i would…

     *) be fearless.

     *) be really funny.

     *) make people smile.

1 b.) if i was able to make people laugh, that would…

     *) make my heart smile.

     *) make me feel good about myself.

     *) make me a good comedian. 

1 c.) if i were a stand-up comedian, i’d be able to…

     *) travel. 

     *) get paid for making people laugh.

     *) meet all kinds of interesting people.

and, that’s kind of how it works. it’s funny, but, i thought that the impulse to be a stand-up comedian, died long ago…but, surprise!! apparently, it’s still there.

here i am…i’m cleaning house and finding things that i knew that i lost…but, also finding things that i never even knew were there.

i’m healing myself. my therapist told me today, with a huge smile, that i’m healing fast and furiously…fiercely and ferociously. 

on tuesday, we had an emdr session. my therapist was my sherpa, as always…tap, tap, tapping on the tops of my hands…my eyelids closed tightly.

my eyes moving back and forth, from one side to the other. she lead me to my special clearing in the woods, by the beach…to “dog-log.”

i sat on “dog-log” feeling the cool, ocean breeze on my face…tasting the saltiness in the air around me…hearing the seagulls screeching and my dogs barking, in the distance…smelling smoke from my bonfire…and, watching as my dogs appeared, one by one, to greet me.

i was completely at peace, content, and very happy…surrounded by all that i loved. i was home, at the beach, with all of my dogs…past and present. 

in the distance, i heard it…very softly at first…”i can get what i want.” then louder, “i can get what i want.” and then, the words wrapped around me and enveloped me. 

i allowed and invited them into my subconscious, my mind, and my heart. i could feel the words resonating with my spirit. “i can get what i want.” i felt it and i believed it.

…”i can get what i want…and i will!!”


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