…it’s good to take your time.
my 🕵 explained something to me today, in very simple terms and laid it out in the best manner possible, for me to grasp and understand completely.
she told me that dating or courting, should be akin to planning out and getting a good tattoo. both are prospects that could be forever.
if you want an awesome tattoo, that makes you happy and proud to wear on your skin, that isn’t crappy or a choice of flash from the wall…you put a lot of time, effort, and thought into it.
you want to do the research and find, or create a design that you absolutely love. you want to cut out patterns, placing them on your body/skin to help you decide where the design will lay the best. you want to figure out where on your skin it will be the most pleasing and complementary to you. you want to figure out if you would be happier with black and white, or color.
most importantly, you want to interview and vet tattooists. you want to look through portfolios and find a tattooist whose style matches your vision for your piece, so that you will be happy, satisfied, and proud to have it. you absolutely want to love it, because it is something that you could be living with forever, unless you have it removed.
and that, is a great strategy for getting a tattoo that you will love forever, and a way to avoid getting a crappy tattoo, that you will regret getting forever, or at least until you get it removed.
likewise, the same can be said about dating or courting. if you want an awesome significant other, that will make you happy, bring you joy, support, encouragement, and unconditional love …and, that won’t treat you poorly, have addictions , be a cheater, or be emotionally distant/dismissive…you put a great deal of time, effort, and thought into it.
you want to know and understand yourself, your wants and needs, as well as your non-negotiables…on all levels; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually…so that you can find someone who meets those requirements.
you want to explore and understand what core values are most important to you, and which values you desire to have in a mate.
you want to explore your personality type, to first of all better understand yourself, but secondary to that, to determine what type of personality will complement your own.
you want to talk to, “interview,” research, and vet potential mates. you want to find someone who you can talk to, who can be your best friend, who is willing to go slow and get to know you (and vice versa), who understands your meanings and references, who makes you laugh, who makes you feel, who understands and appreciates your worth, and who values you for you (the “real” inner you).
most importantly, you want to make sure that you are ready and willing to love and to be loved. if and when you are ready, you want to look for a mate that you can feel safe to be vulnerable with, trust implicitly, be willing to take down your walls for, love them flaws and all, and let them love you with their whole heart.
and that, is a great strategy for finding an awesome significant other and best friend, that you could possibly love forever…and, a way to avoid settling down with someone that you barely know, only to find out later that they weren’t the right person for you, and living to regret it.