i am from iowa…

so, here i am…i can finally say it…”i am from iowa.” 

yep…here i sit in nevada. bugg’s and i arrived on friday, january 6. 

a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. both bugg’s and i, are quite “shell-shocked.” we sit here staring at each other, both of us missing all that we left behind. i find myself pondering options that i never thought of before. it’s very hard for us to sleep alone. time to move on and make the journey home.

it had been -8° that last night, so, i wore two t-shirts, a thermal, a carhartt coat, a scarf, a backwards ballcap, shorts, and slip-on vans for security. bugg’s wore a sweater, a harness, a collar, and a muzzle. we had a big red suitcase, a green carry-on, a black shoulder bag, and one enormous burrito.

we had our last cigarette. we arrived on time. we took our last minute selfies…her in her red peacoat and matching cat-eyes…me in my shorts and backward cap. there were the last minute hugs and kisses. the things that people say to one another when they really care about them and that was that. 

bugg’s and i moved forward through the doors, as she drove away. we squeezed into a very long line that wasn’t moving. then, the heat hit us. bugg’s began panting, so, i took his sweater off of him. then, i began sweating and peeling off layers…coat, scarf, thermal, and hat, which in turn gave me more to carry.

after finally making it through the line, reaching the counter, and arriving at security…we were both tired and crabby. it took us nearly two hours to pass the security screening. bugg’s had no muzzle on, no collar on, no leash on, and no harness on. i had to peel more clothes off and be patted down repeatedly.

shoelessly, i gathered my naked, barking, and growling dog…put his accoutrements back on him, put my clothes and shoes back on, and put all of my electronics back together in my carry-on. my burrito, while still enormous, was smashed nearly flat, but still very edible. we hurried to the gate.

when we arrived at the gate, we were informed that our seat assignments were being changed, but that we would be reimbursed for our tickets. bugg’s and i went from having a two seat row to ourselves, to having to have an unfamiliar man in our row, which agitated bugg’s…and me.

bugg’s spent the whole flight panting and shaking, while trying to climb me and sit on my chest like a gargoyle. he wanted to stare at the people in the row behind us. there was a really nice flight attendant, named alyssa, that gave bugg’s water and talked to him nicely. we were both tired, when we landed.

we just wanted off of the plane, into the airport, at baggage claim, in the car, and back in our room, in bed. however, we had to sit on the plane for 45 minutes, before we could get off, and we had to wait at the gate for 45 minutes, before being taken to baggage and left. bugg’s and i somehow found our way to the car.

wendy grabbed bugg’s leash, jenny grabbed the two bags, and i carried my shoulder bag, coat, and thermal…and stepped into the car. richard was driving and after being crabby about having to circle the airport 25 times, he became his old self and proceeded to ask me one inappropriate question after another. 

so, here i sit, writing finally. after my last post, i kind of lost my way…about a lot of things. i am slowing things down and i am going to go with the flow. i am going to finish my second molly book. i am going to get back on my eating program. and, the cigarettes are going back to where they came from. 

i miss a lot of people/pets/things in life…my mom, karen, gunther, dieter, samson, austin, cash, carly, edam, clementine, newman, john-john, erik, grace, the beach, my home, my work, my youth, my car, donuts, my special bagel, sourdough bread, kismet, my inspiration, telling a bedtime story…

someone once told me that i would really like iowa and i did. i liked it so much that i loved it. now, here i am sitting, thinking that i really miss iowa. i need to focus on something else for awhile, perhaps just reconnecting with myself, my friends, and things that i am most passionate about, until ia comes to nv.

at least for the moment i can say, “but, i am from iowa…”

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