to whom it may concern…

to whom it may concern…

i did the best, that i could this year…

fought my way through, the sorrow and the fear…

dealing with loss, all on my own…

way far out of my comfort zone…

my mom, suffered and died…

my partner, cheated and lied…

moving away, from all that i knew…

from a city, with many…to a town, with a few…

from the lush, green, and pristine…

to the dry, and brown, a brand new scene…

so, i tried online dating…it didn’t last long…

once again, i felt like…i didn’t belong…

i was a fish out of water, new to this place…

in search of love, and a whole lot of grace…

c. came first, she sought me out…

sexy, scintillating…she had no doubt…

the flirtation lasted, about three weeks…

it had it’s low valley’s…and high-high peaks…

she ended it abruptly, citing my word…

the sheriff arrived, the whole town heard…

spurned, heartbroken, stomach sick…

hoping to find one, with whom, i would click…

dipped my toe in the water, one last time…

looking through photos, no reason, no rhyme…

i “liked,” the hot one, with the smoldering eyes…

i opened my ipad, and to my surprise…

she “liked” me back, and started to chat…

i didn’t want to like her, but right off the bat…

she brightened my dark day, and made it light…

she talked to me, and made me laugh, late-late at night…

somewhere in between here, and there…

i developed some feelings, and began to care…

she made so happy…i always wore a silly grin…

i hoped that when she met me…she’d see that my beauty came from within…

she finally came to visit me…

self-consciously, i wondered what she would see…

would she see me as a blubbery, whale…

take one look, be repulsed, and bail…

it became so real, so clear, so there…

sitting across from her, trying not to stare…

a radiant beauty, from within, and without…

with a warm perfect smile, that melts away doubt…

talking, sharing, and listening, to music all night…

the sound of her voice, made me feel safe, alright…

i squandered my opportunity, i missed my shot…

i wanted to touch her, be near her, but didn’t know what she thought…

about me, my outside, my face…

so, i tried to be considerate, and stay out of her space…

she’s gone back, to where she came from…

i feel pathetic, idiotic, and dumb…

for wanting her badly…

and, liking her madly…

to me she is precious, without a doubt…

it takes four hours, and seventeen minutes to drive that route…

she is my best friend, and will always be…

even if were not together, once she’s free…

those were the highs and lows of my year…

i’m working on independence, without fear…

i hope in the new year, that i will have a hand to hold…

a boxer dog, to cuddle with, when i get cold…

i’m a simple girl, i don’t ask for much..

i would like to give, and receive love, and such…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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