lies…

lies corrupt, and corrode relationships. they undermine trust, shatter bonds, and leave a, crazymaking trail of uncertainty, disbelief, and shame, for the recipient. why shame?

well, i can only speak for myself, but the shame for this recipient, is for wanting to believe something so badly, that i repeatedly, leave myself wide open to being crushed.

in my mind, i see myself, like, charlie brown, running up to that football, lifting a foot to kick it, and falling on my back instead, as lucy, once again moves the ball.

so, what’s wrong with charlie, and i? why don’t we ever learn, suspect, or at least have a clue?

i believe that, charlie, and i, are altruistic, kind, and compassionate. we want to believe that people are basically good, honest, and trustworthy.

we are perpetual chance givers. we tend to be quick to forgive, with the hope that it won’t happen again. we give most, the benefit of the doubt. hoping, each time, that we will kick the ball through the uprights.

charlie, and i, at our deepest cores, just desire truth, honesty, love, respect, inclusion, understanding, empathy, to be worthwhile, valued, trusted, wanted, and needed.

don’t mistake our kind, and gentle nature, as weakness. we are neither weak, nor foolish, we possess a great strength of character, and love for others.

lies cut the deepest, when they come from the people that you love the most, and are supposed to love you back…your family, and your friends.

so…here i am, in an old familiar place. lying flat on my back, gasping for breath, holding back my tears, while biting my lip.

…my lucy…my family…

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